What Travelers Do When Your Not Looking
by RinkuAmanuma
Summary: Yes my wonderful readers, another parody. The latest up is Gunny and Bobby in a conversation about the flying car! I thought it was funny, click to read it! And reviewing is good!
1. Random Junk

Disclaimer: Pendragon doesn't belong to me.

Yeah.. this is probably going to be stupid. If you've read my other Pendragon fanfics, you KNOW this is going to be stupid.

Bobby: Look! It's Orlando Bloom!

Saint Dane: Ooooh! Were! Is my hair okay?

Bobby: You don't have any hair!

Saint Dane and Bobby: ORLANDOOO! WAIT FOR US! (Fangirl scream)

--

Alder: You know, I never wanted to be a knight. I always wanted to be... (stares off dreamily) the most _beautiful_ balarina on Denduron!

Wu Yenza: And guess what? I never wanted to be cheif Aquaneer. I always wanted to be a **man**!

Spader: That explains alot...

Akward Silence.

--

(This next one is very possible)

Courtney: I'm so depressed. Everyone hates me. I'm not the ruler of the earth. I don't have guys drooling all over me anymore. (emo cutting begins)

--

Spader: (Laying on his bed in a sexy man-thong) Hey Pendragon (evil laugh) Why don't you come and... Check these bed covers with me. (Rubs the sheets) heh heh, Authentic Zaadian Silk.

Bobby: Uncle Press, he makes me emo!

Press: It's okay Bobby. It's okay (sniff)

--

Saint Dane: I only want to destroy Halla becouse... (sniff)_ Halla made me ugly_! (sob)

Alder: Aaaaw, it's okay!

Spader: Yeah! We love you!

(Group Hug)

--

Loor: Like, OH MY GOD! Aja you broke my nail!

Bobby: Oh no you DI 'INT GIRL FRIEND! (snap)(snap)(snap)

Aja: ...

--

Gunny: I'm to sexy for my clothes! (Takes them off)

All male travelers: WHOOOOO! (Whistle)

--

Bobby: (Scratched Boon's ears)

Boon: Ooooh yeah. That's the spot. (Leg goes up and down) OH YES! YES PENDRAGON!

Bobby: Wow...

--

Yenza: How'd it go today?

Spader: It wasn't that bad..

Yenza: Your lieing. Tell me.

Spader: Well... Good news or bad news?

Yenza: Bad news first.

Spader: All of the other Aquaneers died, We've gone bankrupt, all the fish are dead, soon the water is all going to dry up, your mother died in a horrible accident, and on top of all that, your brother is moving in with you and has already eaten your food supply for the next three years.

Yenza: (On ground twitching, rocking back and forth) What's the good news?

Spader: I saved alot of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!

Yenza: (dies)

--

Relin: ...And that's why everyone on Denduron is so depressed.

Alder: But.. My mama say it becouse I to cool fer everyone!

Relin: Well yo mama was _wrong_!

Alder: (face turns red) Alder angry.. ALDER HULK! (Turns into a big green moster and beats him untill he is no more)

--

Spader: Water is good for you!

Saint Dane: Gaaatoraaaade!

Bobby: I wouldn't do that if I were you!

Saint Dane: Water sucks, it really really sucks!

Spader: ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Stabs Saint Dane)

Bobby: O.o

Patrick: ..I saw that coming... BECOUSE I AM TEACHER-MAN! DO YOUR HOMEWORK MUAHAHA!

(Paper is thrown at him) (sob)

--

Bobby: So..People from the future have orange, deformed, Cheeto hair?

Patrick: Yup.

Bobby: WHY! (Sob)

--

Alder: HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!

Spader: Oh you know that's hot...

Bobby: (drool)

--

Queen Kagan: (Devours everything in the dining room including table and some people) (snort) You ganna eat that? (Points to Alder's plate which is his only dinner for the whole year, which is a small pea..)

Alder: N-n-no.. (Hands it over) E-e-eat it, g-go ahead...

Kagan: (Gobbles the pea, the plate, and his hand.)

Alder: (Bleeding to death) Gosh she's beautiful...

--

You can tell when i'm bored.

You can flame if you want becouse, I did this out of EXTREME BORDOM! Yes I got some things from the Water Boy (Love that movie)And Hulk (cough). I also had to make fun of that stupid Geico commercial SOME WAY! Well anyway, review. Since Alder is not loved by anyone but me, everyone forgot about the first book. Relin is that weird miner guy from the Milago village and Kagan is the fat, overly stuffed Queen. INFACT, Alder is SO unloved, he got desprate enough to fall for Queen Kagan. Poor Alder, his suffering shall never end.


	2. Dungeons and Dragons

Disclaimer: I do not own Pendragon!

This may be my favourite so far, if you don't review, I won't post anymore! So, yay for me!

Dungeons and Dragons.

The travelers, and Saint Dane, avoiding having to save or destroy Halla, decide to play a game of dungeons and dragons.

Spader: (Reading a card to Bobby) You enter the door to the north. You are now by yourself standing in a dark room. The smell of mildew and mold comes from the wet dungeon walls.

Saint Dane: Were are the cheetos?

Spader: They're right next to you!

Bobby: I cast a spell!

Saint Dane: Were's the mountin dew?

Spader: In the fridge, DUH!

Bobby: I wanna cast a spell!

Saint Dane: Can I have a mountin dew?

Spader: YES! You can have a mountin dew, just go get it!

Bobby: I can cast any of these on the list right?

Spader: Yes, as long as it's a low level one.

Saint Dane: I'm going to get a soda, anyone want one? Hey Spader i'm not in the room right?

Spader: What room?

Saint Dane: The room were Pendragon is casting all these spells!

Spader: He hasn't casted anything yet!

Bobby: I would if you'd listen! I'm casting magic missle!

Spader: Why are you casting magic missle, there isn't anything to attack here!

Bobby: Oh...erm.. I'm attacking the darkness!

Everyone but Bobby: (Laughs Nerd-like)

Spader: Okay, you attack the darkness. There's an elf infront of you.

Alder: Woah, that's me right?

Spader: He's wearing a brown tunic, and he has grey hair, and blue eyes.

Alder: No, I have grey eyes!

Spader: Lemme see that sheet!

Alder: Well, it says I have blue eyes. But I want grey eyes!

Spader: Whatever, okay you guys can talk to each other.

Bobby: Hello.

Alder: Hello.

Bobby: I am Galstaff, sorcerer of light!

Alder: Then how come you had to cast magic missle?

Everyone but Bobby: (Laughs Nerd-like)

Spader: Okay, your being attacked.

Saint Dane: Do I see that happening?

Spader: NO! Your outside by the tavern!

Saint Dane: Will I get drunk?

Spader: Pfft... There are seven ogres surounding you two--

Alder: How can seven ogres surround us? I had morten kiden's faithful watchdog cast!

Spader: No you didn't.

Saint Dane: I'm getting drunk, are there any girls there?

Alder: I TOTALLY DID! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before your adventure and I said no, but I do need material compounents to do spells! So, I casted morten kiden's faithful watchdog!

Spader: But you never actually casted!

Saint Dane: Roll the dice to see if i'm getting drunk!

Spader: Yeah! You are...

Saint Dane: Are there any girls there?

Spader: Yeah!

Alder: I did though! I completley did when you asked me!

Spader: No you didn't! You didn't actually say you were casting the spell! Now there's ogres OKAY!

Saint Dane: Cool-- cause if there are any girls there I wanna --

(Argument continues, and the Game is left unfinished.)

Spader, who is fumed, goes home to Cloral to play the game with Yenza amd a few other Aquaneers.

Alder goes home to confuse Rellin with the concept of Star Wars.

And, Bobby and Saint Dane watch movies all day while eating popcorn and cheetos.

THE END OF THIS CHAPTER STARTS HERE!

Was that dumb or what? Hah-ha. Well, review please!


	3. The Flying Car

Disclaimer: I do not own Pendragon

Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while... My computer was busted D:

Anyway, here's the next chapter...

Gunny and Bobby in: The Flying Car

Bobby and Gunny sit in a resturaunt on First Earth. The two sit down and order their meals and begin to chat.

Bobby: It's times like these it occurs to me we were lied to by the Jetsons

Gunny: What are you talking about?

Bobby: according to that show we were supposed to be fooling around in flying cars by now.

Gunny: Well, us rational thinkers don't depend on a cartoon to give us a liable glimpse into the future.

Bobby: Hey, what would you be willing to give up for the flying car?

Gunny: What do you mean?

Bobby: Say some German scientist walks up to you and says. "I have invented the flying car. I'll give it you on one condition."

Gunny: Well, what's the condition?

Bobby: That's the thing, he's not ganna tell ya.

Gunny: Then it's no deal.

Bobby: The guy is offering you the flying car! Just take the car man!

Gunny: Not untill I know what the catch is!

Bobby: Fine, the catch is, you've got to cut off a foot.

Gunny: No way!

Bobby: Are you saying you wouldn't cut off your foot for _the_ flying car? Your that selfish?

Gunny: Selfish? How would I walk?

Bobby: What walk? You'll have the _flying car_. You'll save thousands on gas money. After that, you could buy fifty prostetic feet!

Gunny: Alrigt. What foot?

Bobby: Your choice.

Gunny: Left. I'll trade my left foot for the flying car.

Bobby: So it's a deal then, your foot for the flying car. Your sure?

Gunny: I'm sure.

Bobby: You can't welch!

Gunny: I won't welch!

Bobby: 'Cause the whole world is counting on you!

Gunny: What kind of scientist is this guy anyway?

Bobby: One with a lot of free time on his hands, and a foot fetish. Sort of like Saint Dane..

The two paused in thought about this.

Bobby: So, then you find out this guy's going to take off your foot with a hack saw.

Gunny: What!

Bobby: And no anestetic.

Gunny: Oh screw that!

Bobby: Come on, it's part of the deal!

Gunny: You didn't say that before!

Bobby: Come on, it only hurts when he's taking off the foot. After that they'll use a local on your stuff and cortorise the wound.

Gunny: Why can't I have the local before he cuts it off?

Bobby: Becouse. He is a sick degenarete who likes to cause pain.

Gunny: You said he was a man of science!

Bobby: You don't think Einstien didn't like hacking guys feet off? But, nobody ever said anything about it becouse he was one of the greatest thinkers of our time.

Come on man! Take a hit for the team! A few secounds of pain for a life time of riches and zero traffic.

Gunny: Fine! But I want the local after he's done.

Bobby: You want the local? Alright...

Gunny: Why'd you say it like that?

Bobby: Well the stuff he gives you knocks you out. And when your out-y, he diddles your peni-y.

Gunny: Oh come on!

Bobby: Hey man, you made the deal.

Gunny: To trade my foot for the flying car! Not to be tortured and molested by some mad German scientist!

Bobby: And his friends...

Gunny: What?

Bobby: After he's done with you, he gives you to his friends so they can have a try.

Gunny: Deals off!

Bobby: What're you? Some kind of homophobe?

Gunny: No, I just don't want to be diddled by some insane German scientist and his friends after my foot has been cut off!

Bobby: Need I remind you this is for the flying car?

Gunny: It ain't worth it!

Bobby: You know, you're what's wrong with this country. Hell with this world, your only thinking about your own comfort level, never thinking about the rest of us!  
And you'll be remebered as the sad foot note in the book of life. The wimpy little scum bag who could have reached the chasm of becoming, and being. But instead, opted

to cover his own ass, and foot, in the prosses.

Gunny: ALRIGHT! I'll go through with the deal! I'll let the German scientist hack my foot off, and let him and his friends have his way with me, **ALL** for the _flying car_.

Bobby: You'd do it with a bunch of guys for a car? I thought I knew you mad.

Bobby gets up and leaves, and Saint Dane sits in his spot.

Saint Dane: So, Vincent. When do we start our little deal?

Gunny: ... Holy shit!

And there you have chapter three of What Travelers Do When Your Not Looking.

If you want more, review!


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